Choices

Excuse me while I dry my eyes and make some coffee.



Choices are what bind us
To our dreams & lives

A sad and lonely man sits upon his chair
Wanting to make some friends
But trying to find an income binds him in despair

To senior, too skilled
Not enough hair
The excuses don't matter
What choice is there?

Wanting to write a novel
Or see a stage show
Less time for love & comfort
When he rises from his chair

Looking past the window
The day glows bright

If he is not at his desk
Trawling job boards
The terror of night grips
And the black dog barks


How to say I love you
But I won't be there
When you have finished work
To keep us clothed fed & fair

I would rather dance upon a stage
Or write a novel of a space marine gone mad
Than look deep for my soul
And sell it to the first employer with change to spare

But I choose a house & home
Food warmth and comfort
Than making new friends
Or seeing a star being upon the stage

To change
I need to choose
What & whom?
Life is unfair

Still at 89.8kg but the roast lamb & beers for dinner probably account for some of that.

Guitars still not tuned, but getting closer to a working jackd sound system on desktop.

Job hunting is slow, there simply is not that much out there for me.  Seek is still a pain in the ass but slightly more manageable with use.

Abstraction level approximately zero.  The real world is very close right now

89.8kg the only part of the week that went as expected.  Weight down.

The job hunt is slow there just are not that many jobs to be had in any area I am interested in and competent to do.

I took a swing at finding out more about one job and it worked - I may still apply  have applied (*) but they are wanting someone like a McKinsey or Boston Consulting consultant.  It is a tough ask.  Getting past the recruitment level personnel may be harder than winning at an interview.

No guitars tuned, sound (jackd) still not fully functional on Desktop.  Books unsorted.  Insurance & superannuation still not re-assessed.  DVDs to watch & books to read.  This is roughly the priority order.  The latter items are mostly under control but an analytic & technical review at the end of the financial year of money stuff is always a good idea.

But we have a new toaster and pillows.


(*) The job applied for (the direct link may not work):


http://careers.bg-group.com/fe/tpl_BGgroup01.asp?s=NVeGdJOlYwNZeBbNwt&jobid=73372,7182491534&key=80883663&c=545833998234&pagestamp=sekcuaefwtdaornhpk

(the direct link may not work)
http://www.bg-group.com/CAREERS/APPLY/Pages/Vacancies.aspx
Reference Number QGC1874

Abstraction

I am starting to pull myself from the immediate confrontation that is reality.

3 Main reasons:
1) look at job ad, delete is very boring and gets depressing
2) it is part of my reprogramming myself

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2012/05/four-steps-to-rewire-your-brain-with-your-mind-and-conscious-action/

See your automatic response patterns as learned brain-strategies. 

       Re-frame a behavior as a problem located outside of who you are as a person.

         Set clear life vision to refocus your energies on what you consciously prioritize and most value.

        Take action to express your commitment to this new priority or value.

3) getting any job isn't as important as getting the right job, at least for a few more months. Sooner rather than later is better and I am trying, but looking for work is a fairly full-time occupation and I know from working & job hunting simultaeneously that there isn't much energy or motivation to do both properly.

Getting and staying too close to the job hunt at hand means nothing else gets done and I get annoyed with not having a job at the end of the day and nothing else done.  At least with a higher focus (getting shit done) I am getting stuff done.

Today I made progress with complex sound issues (jackd for those who care on my Desktop).  Almost at the point where I can ask sensible questions for real help.

This weeks goals are to make more progress on using SEEK, tune my guitars and hopefully get the recording setup working, do a master to do list, work thru various federal government recruiting avenues.

My goal is to express myself and "make a difference" (cf JTK).

I work best at the border between abstract and practical - that is where I need to be.
 

Day 1 unemployment again

91.5 kg

Not much in the world of jobs to look at even though I have made three calls already (10.45am).  One probably for a job I applied directly for (and was rejected) for last week.

Is it wrong to want to sell everything, slack off and never do anything again?

I don't have a problem with competing, losing or winning.  Put the employment process sucks.

Next job keep cooking some curry sausages for lunch meals this week and hangout washing.

A new beginning

When I manage to open the backup archive I will repost the old entries.

This will attempt to be a view of the bigger of the world as it may develop  So expect a mix of physics, maths, information theory and stuff that will flavour the developments going forward.